Pocket Squares

Q. I like the look of a handkerchief in a suit or sport jacket’s breast pocket. When is it appropriate? Is it ever not appropriate? 

Folded white linen handkerchief

A. The guidelines for wearing a pocket-handkerchief are really quite simple. (Incidentally, clothing people refer to the silk version as a "pocket square.") It is always appropriate with a jacket and tie – from the formality of "black tie" to dressy suits and blazers, and including casual tweed sports coats. It is almost never inappropriate if you are wearing a jacket. And you don’t need to be wearing a tie.

A simple way to ease into this style is to tuck a white linen handkerchief into your breast pocket – always safe and never wrong, though perhaps a bit formal. For more dash and sophistication, choose a colorful silk pocket square.

Remember, when wearing a tie and colored silk pocket square, the two patterns should never match exactly. A matched tie-and-handkerchief-set is more than a tad tacky -- like dressing out of a kit. Instead, aim for the tie and pocket square to complement each other and your shirt or suit by repeating at least one of the colors and by not repeating the exact pattern. For example: Consider a blue suit, white shirt, and red-and-blue small-patterned tie. A good choice would be a navy silk square with a large red paisley pattern. Or for another example: With a tan suit, a light blue shirt, and a blue and brown striped tie, try a brown and blue polka dot pocket square – these are pulled-together mixes that don't seem overly contrived or too worked on.

Wearing a pocket handkerchief is a different and somewhat natty way to dress, but it is definitely not right for everyone. Some men, who have a low “feeling-silly” threshold, would be self-conscious and feel too much like a dandy with a handkerchief in their breast pocket. Men with these concerns should never think of wearing one. (And their spouses should not try to buy them one as a gift; it won't work.)

On the other hand, many men do wear a pocket square with self-assurance and comfort. As an example, a man attending one of my lectures told me that once, when he forgot his silk pocket square, he returned home for it. Another man, one of the classiest dressers I know, never wears a pocket handkerchief for business or casual weekends. He likes to use his as a transition step between wearing a suit-and-tie and dressing in "black tie." He says it's the sort of look he might wear to a former girl friend's wedding. Obviously, these men are very different types of dressers.

Pocket squares do not need to be silk. Cotton handkerchiefs, in either white or a soft color, have a more casual air and are perfect with a tweed sports jacket. It goes without saying – but I will say it anyway – a pocket square is part of the outfit and not meant to be used as a handkerchief.

A pocket-handkerchief is usually worn folded with the points up or else with the center softly puffed and the points down. It is supposed to be a subtle touch, not exaggerated. You can Google “How to fold a pocket square” for helpful tips.

A note of caution: The points should not be too perfectly lined-up like soldiers or a picket fence. A young man at one of my lectures proudly showed me how he had carefully folded his handkerchief over a small cardboard template to make the points come out precisely even. Wrong! A certain air of nonchalance is what you are aiming for. It should be visible just enough to expose an inch or two of fabric above the pocket. A pocket square that flops out too much – like a flower – does not have a dashing man-about-town effect. It looks more like a dandy.

Back to School: What are Kids Wearing These Days?

Lands' End

 Q. I am very late with my shopping for my ten-year-old stepson for back to school. My mom seems to think he should be dressed in “nice” clothes. What are kids wearing these days?

A. It’s not too late to shop. Kids don’t necessarily need to have all their school gear on the very first day of school.

Their school clothes need to be versatile and comfortable. Kids don't come home from school and change their clothes before heading out to play. And even while they’re at school, they need to be dressed for recess and gym. So, no matter how much grandmothers may love the old-fashioned “nice” looks, today kids’ clothes need to be more realistic and useful.

Active boys can be hard on their clothing, so look for tops and bottoms such as basic T-shirts, polos, and jeans that offer durable fabrics. While it’s true that boys need durability, even young boys also want style. Striped rugby shirts, "hoodies," and down vests are not just for adults and teens. From the soccer field to science class, a roomy fit, looser styling, and carefree cotton make young guys happy.

And this season everything for boys has an "active" look. From athletic numerals to cargo pants, clothing comes in new tie-dyed prints, plaids, and bright solid colors, such as blues, greens, and reds, layered over the usual navy, green, and gray. Oh, yes, graphic Tees are everywhere. Boys like them because they are a way to individualize their look.

You will find a wealth of choices from department stores and such online sources as Lands' End Kids. Also check out quality discount stores like Marshalls for up-to-date items with the extra features boys want, like cargo pockets, all at greatly reduced prices.

In addition to rugged pants, relaxed shirts, and warm jackets, the one essential item in every kid's school wardrobe is a backpack. A recent survey revealed that about 30 percent of boys and girls ages 8-13 consider a backpack a must-have item for school. This is probably because kids put whatever they can fit into them. In addition to books and homework, they store iPods, art supplies, their lunch, and fun stuff not related to school, like video games.

According to the American Chiropractic Association, over-stuffing a backpack can lead to back problems later in life. Kids should carry backpacks that are no more than eight to ten percent of the child's weight and they should use both straps, allowing the pack to hang properly on the small of their backs. When loaded, an 80-pound kid’s backpack should not weigh more than eight pounds.

Color and pattern are on the top of kids’ list. 65% of kids said it was the most important quality for choosing a backpack, while 68% of moms said that durability was the most important feature in a backpack. The new backpacks at Lands’ End offer a variety of color and pattern choices and are built to last for more than one school year.

Kids have ideas of their own, especially about color, and they know what their friends are wearing. It makes sense to shop in partnership with your stepson, instead of just for him.