Does gray count as a color?

Q. What does gray count as in terms of a color? I was wearing a shirt with thin gray stripes on white with khaki pants, and I was unsure which ties really worked with it.

A. That is a very good question. It shows you are aware of some of the important color subtleties connected with being well dressed. Some shirt and tie pairings look terrible. Others bring compliments. And since gray is one of the two most common colors in men's wardrobes, knowing how to work with it is important.

My first answer would be that gray, being in between white and black (or a mix thereof), does not necessarily need to be treated as a color, because neither black nor white is actually a color. But many grays include a hint and tint (see more below) of another color, and that can make a tremendous difference.

For instance, a shirt with gray and white stripes is perfect for all your gray suits. It works well with gray tweed jackets and charcoal gray dress pants. Because it contrasts nicely with most colors, it is the perfect foil for a necktie in any shade of red, from pink to bright red or burgundy, and also works with ties in light-to-medium shades of blue, green or purple. Your preferences in color can dictate your choices, as you have very few restrictions.

The easiest and safest tie with a striped shirt is a solid color (with no pattern). It is certainly possible to mix a striped shirt with a patterned tie, but it requires paying attention not only to what colors you put together but also to the type and size of the tie's pattern. To look as if you chose the patterned tie on purpose rather than pairing it thoughtlessly, stripes need patterns that are not too large, not too busy  and not too close together.

As examples, a large all-over paisley, most checks and all plaids are hard to do well with a stripe ... and should be avoided. On the other hand, small designs on a plain background (such as club ties with those little sailboat or tennis racquet designs) work very well. So do ties with widely-spaced stripes.

I know that men often tend to think of khaki pants as so neutral that they go with everything. But your teaming of a gray-and-white shirt with khakis is not my favorite combination. The reason is, as you mentioned, gray is in the black family, and khaki is actually a color in the brown family. I am not saying that shades of brown and black can never mix well, but doing so takes a certain degree of skill and sophistication. Why look for difficulty?

To help explain what I meant about grays' often having a hint of another color in them, consider a garment in slate gray. Slate gray is a dark shade of gray with a tint of blue. It is very popular for suits and dress trousers, but it is difficult to mix and match. When you mix it with a blue shirt, it looks gray, but when you mix it with a gray shirt, it looks blue. Instead of looking like a handsome contrast, the combination looks like a near-miss mistake. Some grays have a slight cast of purple or green, and these are even more of a problem. When buying something in the gray family -- especially an expensive suit -- be careful to select a pure gray with no undertones of another color.

For that one man in 12 who is colorblind or if your ability to differentiate between shades is less acute than it might be, ask the salesman. Since so many men are colorblind it makes little sense to be embarrassed or hide the fact from the salesman. He sees people who are colorblind every day. Ask him to show you a gray item with no green or purple in it. That can be helpful even if you are not colorblind.

What to wear when it is hot and humid

Q. I will be traveling to a very hot and humid climate later this month. What fabrics are the coolest and most comfortable for me to take with me?

A. Cotton, cotton, and cotton. Nothing is cooler than all-cotton (100 percent) garments. When you look at the world of fabrics, cotton, linen, silk, and wool are the “natural fibers.” They are traditional, classic, cool, comfortable, and more expensive than synthetics.

COTTON is used in lightweight suits and jackets of poplin, seersucker, cord, and gabardine, in shirts, in summer dress pants, khakis, jeans, shorts, socks, and underwear. Strong, lightweight, comfortable, and cool, cotton’s qualities are highly desirable. If a cotton fabric has any percentage of synthetic fiber added to it, the garment becomes less comfortable.                         

I would recommend your opting for cotton for much of the clothing you travel with and that you wear back home during the summer (assuming you aren't in northern Alaska). Every man’s summer wardrobe should include these cotton classics: a khaki poplin single-breasted suit, pastel-colored blazer, dark dress trousers and light chinos, a sweater, several fine dress shirts, and an assortment of short-sleeved casual tops ranging from polos to Tee’s.

I would caution, that if you are buying all-cotton no-iron shirts, you should buy one from each of a few different brands to determine which one feels the coolest. When a manufacturer adds the chemical wrinkle-free treatment to the fabric, it may affect its breathability, even though the shirt is 100 percent cotton.   

LINEN, sometimes called “flax,” an elegant and luxurious fabric, is a second choice or a pricier first choice. Its light weight and its tendency to carry heat away from the body make it a favorite cloth for summer suits, jackets, and neckties – expensive ones. Because linen wrinkles easily, manufacturers often blend it with cotton, silk, wool, or shape-retaining synthetics. Skip the synthetic blends. People who are knowledgeable about linen’s distinctive properties say it has “regal wrinkles.” Linen adds luster and subtlety to a jacket or pair of trousers. An outfit of rich ivory-toned linen is a handsome addition to a summer weekend wardrobe. 

SILK is another natural fiber to include occasionally in your warm-weather selections. Some silk can be affordable and others can be a once-a-decade splurge. Its incomparably smooth touch and light weight make it a good alternate choice as long as you realize that it can be wrinkly and can show unattractive evidence of perspiration. Armholes should be loose.

WOOL should not be totally overlooked as summer wear – perhaps not for you on this trip – but definitely back home. Here, weight is an extremely important factor. Featherweight and tropical-weight wools are very different from winter-weight and ten-month weight wools. A well-dressed man is likely to have at least one super lightweight wool summer suit and a navy go-with-everything tropical wool blazer in his closet. 

MAN-MADE FIBERS should be shunned. In hot, muggy environments, avoid fabric blends that include the words polyester, nylon, or synthetic. Different people’s bodies react differently to synthetics. Some do not tolerate any amount well in humid weather. But those who do not react so strongly can choose fabrics with small percentages of non-natural fibers. The big exception to my zero-tolerance-for-synthetics attitude: 90 or 95 percent natural fiber and only five or ten percentage in a “stretch” (Spandex) fiber seems to work just fine, Also, notice that I did not warn against rayon fabric. As explained to me by my chemical engineer son, rayon is not actually one of the synthetics that are made from petroleum. Because rayon is made from wood (which grows), it feels like silk yet is similar to cotton. Its airy construction allows it “to breathe.”

Unfortunately, there is no sure way to know ahead of time (that is, at the time you are making the purchase), which cotton garments will turn out to be the coolest and your favorites. A few clues that might help you choose are high thread-count yarns and a silky feel. But beware: polyester also has a silky feel. Read the labels carefully. Stay cool.

Ways to look slimmer

Q. Now that he is in his 40’s, my husband is beginning to show a little weight around the middle. It isn't significant, but he's a bit upset about it.  He would never ask, but are there some clothes that would hide this?

A. For all the griping men often do about clothing and business dress, what one wears can provide advantages: whether it is making one look professional, younger, cooler, more fun, or less heavy. There are definitely straightforward suggestions I can provide him and all men, general guidelines to consider before setting out to invest in new clothes. If you are heavy (particularly around the middle), focus attention on your face by wearing compellingly interesting shirts and ties. Create an illusion of slimness by using vertical lines when possible; they force the eye to sweep up and down. Dark colors can make you appear ten to fifteen pounds lighter. And buttoning your jacket (if it still fits correctly) can also accomplish this same illusion of slimness.

SUIT FEATURES TO LOOK FOR:

• Striped suits – pin, chalk, shadow – with closely-spaced stripes
• Single-breasted suits, jackets, and coats
• Jackets with tailored (slightly padded) shoulders, nipped waists, and center vents

SUIT AND JACKET FABRICS TO SELECT:

• Medium- or lightweights. Avoid bulky fabrics.
• Smooth textures
• Dark, cool, and muted colors
• Simple patterns. Avoid “busy” patterns, such as bold plaids, which add bulk visually.
• Blazers/jackets and trousers of nearly matching or similar tones help direct the eye up and down. Avoid sharp contrasts between jacket and trousers, which direct the eye across.

TROUSERS:

• Opt for flat-front (non-pleated) styling or very small pleats. No matter what some may tell you, pleats do not conceal/camouflage a belly.
• Trousers with side-tabs can be a good alternative to attention-grabbing belts.
• If you are wide in the seat (hips), avoid carrying anything in your back pockets.

SHIRTS:

• Vertical stripes in dress and sport shirts are visually elongating.
• Choose shirt collars that are low in back and on the sides, and with a narrow spread. Avoid the horizontal line of a wide-spread collar.
• Also wear button-down collars and trim tab collars.

OTHER GARMENTS:

• Wear long (four-in-hand) neckties and narrow (also four-in-hand) knots. Avoid bow ties.
• For sportswear, wear sweaters that cover (extend past) the waist in cardigans or pullovers. They actually do help conceal/camouflage a belly.
• Choose non-bulky sweaters with vertical stripes, vertical ribbing, or not-too-large patterns. 
• Avoid belts in sharply contrasting colors. 
• For a man who can carry off this bit of style, an eye-catching scarf in the colder months makes a great vertical line. So does a good-looking pair of braces (button-on suspenders).

NOTES:

• Wear knit shirts such as polos and T’s untucked, thus, avoiding accenting the unattractive overhang of a “beer belly.”
• Avoid wearing anything too small, too tight, or too short.
• Emphasize neutral colors; avoid anything too bold or bright.
• Meticulous grooming plus well-cut and carefully tailored clothes are essential to avoid triggering any thoughts of “sloppy fat.”

AN IMPORTANT OVERWORD:  You can use many tricks to create the look you want. You cannot eliminate all the negatives, but you certainly can learn to emphasize the positives. To summarize: Aim for smooth textures, dark and neutral colors, vertical lines, precise tailoring, meticulous grooming. Be open to trying a few of these proven approaches. You will be happy with the results.

Nice slacks, shirt, perfect with 'almost-dress' shoes

Q. I have sent you a question on suits before and thank you for a fine answer. My new question is this: Are there any casual shoes (we used to call them tennis shoes) that are suitable for wearing with a nice pair of slacks and a shirt? I always wear a dress shoe. 

A. I can’t remember a time in fashion when a man had more options with his choice of almost-dress shoes. Everything, from the new wildly-popular dressy sneaker to the more standard desert boots, boat shoes, driving moccasins, and loafers, offers an alternative to pairing dress slacks and shirt with ratty, or not-so-ratty, sneakers.

All the big name shoe companies, especially such Italian designers as Armani and Ferragamo, are making versions of a dressy sneaker/shoe in dark colors. Tom Ford makes a low-cut sneaker with a sneaker bottom and leather upper; Cole Haan makes a variety of styles; Allen Edmonds makes a handsome trainer in woven leather, pebble-grain leather, and in several sophisticated shades of suede, all with rubber bottoms. When I asked one manufacturer just what makes them different from a standard sneaker and whether others would even recognize that they were not the same, he answered: "The look is different. When you see it, it is apparent that they were not meant to play basketball in."

Over the years, Sperry/topsider type boat shoes have worked well in a casual setting; so have all manner of slip-on loafers. But today a dressy sneaker is a more modern look. It can move your whole look up a stylish notch. What do you look for so the shoe qualifies as a dressy sneaker? It is leather, has a rounded toe, a flatter bottom, and the price often reflects a big difference. 

If you were not comfortable with topsiders or tennis shoes, you still have degrees of formality among shoes. Keep in mind that there are dress shoes, and then there are dress shoes. You would not want to wear the dressiest of shoes, a wingtip, with a casual outfit. But a less formal dress shoe, such as a cap-toe, could work with a smart casual combination. The traditional horse-bit loafers (Gucci-type) are an ongoing part of Italian styling. Driving moccasins, plain loafers, and other comfortable shoes are still “in.” Even so, since you wrote that you usually wear a dress shoe, you must be looking for something that is a clear departure – something more current. That is where the leather or suede upper with a sneaker bottom comes in.

A salesman in an upscale men’s shoe store told me: “We have more suede derby lace-ups, sort of a cross between a sneaker and a low-cut desert boot, than ever before, as well as suede loafers.” If you are wondering about suede for summer, many are designed for warm weather wear. Lightweight suede slip-ons and lace-ups have become seasonal spring/summer shoes. With a pair of the newer sneakers that look like dress shoes, you are blending into the recent resurgence of sneaker culture where styles are getting sleeker every day. Good for casual-business wear, for casual-social wear, and for travel, these are quite different from a chunky pair of athletic sneakers. With their rubber soles in a contrasting color from the leather uppers, you can wear them for their comfort and at the same time, enjoy them for their fashionable appeal. You should note that sometimes just adding color can upgrade an actual sneaker to a dressier look. Paul Stuart stocks quality sneakers in six stylish colors.

The fact that Paul Stuart carries them gives you a sense of just how much they have crossed over into the well dressed man's closet, and why even somewhat traditionalists – including myself –recognize that dress sneakers present a polished casual daywear look. They can go with shorts or jeans during the day or with your nice slacks and shirt at any time. Some say they also go with a suit in the evening for events like a wedding, a dressy party, or a nice dinner out, but I do not agree. The look is too informal for such occasions and wearing them in such inappropriate ways takes away any appearance of “cool” that you have established by choosing them in the first place.

There are rules for light suits

Q. Is a lighter suit really appropriate for an office?  I wear blue and gray suits and it would be good to have something that is a bit of a change, but I am not sure anyone wears them to real offices as opposed to celebrities at openings.

A. Unless you work in the most straight-laced, formal field in the strictest dress code of offices (and often even there), a lighter colored suit is definitely appropriate for the summer. But it is important to know the styles and rules to distinguish what works versus those that are the extreme and should only be worn to a summer wedding or party.

These can be great opportunities to stand out beyond the typical dark suit, and look cool, without a risk of trying to appear younger or "hipper" than you see yourself. Young men may tend to overlook anything slightly unusual, either because they are unfamiliar with it or for fear of seeming like too much of a maverick. A well-dressed maverick has a certain appeal. And a light suit, particularly a seersucker suit, is certainly not an everyman style.

Besides a lighter shade of blue or gray, you have two options: a lightweight khaki suit or the seersucker. They both have the advantage of being a change of pace and appropriate, as long as you observe the seasonal “rules.”

A khaki (or tan) suit offers variation; it extends your color palette. It allows you to wear a light suit, which can be a welcome addition to an otherwise dark wardrobe of suits. It works well with a suntan, and, thus, has its own built-in repetition of color. 

Notice how logical men’s styles are. Contrast is essential. In winter months, when we are pale, dark suits are all that are appropriate. In warm weather, with a flattering tan, khaki suits are added to the closet, giving you variation, repeating the color of tan skin, and emphasizing it as well.

Khaki suits can be lightweight wool or comfortable cotton poplin. In either fabric, they allow for shirts and ties in a wider range of colors than you might normally pair with your blues and grays. Brown accessories such as brown belts and shoes are the ideal choices. Ivory-colored shirts work well. Variations on yellow and orange ties are very smart with khaki.
 
A seersucker suit: Now is definitely the perfect time to consider buying a classic seersucker suit, because the seersucker season is a limited one from Memorial Day to Labor Day just as with most "whites."

For the uninitiated, seersucker is an all-American style. The cut is classic: two-button closure, natural shoulders, and a relaxed (not too slim) fit. The fabric is crinkly, lightweight and cool, mostly all-cotton (but sometimes a cotton blend), and generally less expensive than wool. It is light in color, partly because it is striped: blue-and-white looking from a distance like light blue, brown-and-white appearing to be tan, and (less often) red-and-white adding up to a rose/pink. My strong preference is for the blue-and-white version. 

As for the appropriate occasion for wearing seersucker, in men’s clothing there is a sliding scale of what is quite dressy, what is less so, and what is casual wear. The dressiest item (short of black-tie wear) is the matched suit, progressing in color/dressiness from dark to medium to light. Therefore, perhaps the most casual suit is the seersucker. It has a nice air of different-from-the-usual, without being too quirky. 
       
Because seersucker is a bit less formal, it can be worn with or without a tie, with either a button-down collar shirt or a knit polo shirt, when and where the settings are appropriate. If you do wear a tie, stay with styles on the conservative side; bold avant-garde patterns seem somehow discordant with the quiet "old money" tone of seersucker. Choose a tie that is not too formal, such as a cotton madras plaid, a solid-color pastel linen, or maybe a navy knit.

Avoid any elegant, dressy styles such as double-breasted cuts, French-cuff shirts, cufflinks, and other dandified touches. Wearing seersucker implies a casual nonchalance; it requires a large degree of consistency and more than a hint of self-confidence. Because a seersucker suit has an offbeat look-at-me "personality," the rest of the outfit should be more standard. A light blue-and-white seersucker mates perfectly with a quiet white Oxford cloth shirt. Avoid pairing a blue shirt with blue seersucker; two shades of light blue are nearly impossible to harmonize well. A pale yellow or fresh pink cotton shirt blends nicely with seersucker's casual texture.

As to whether a seersucker suit can be worn to work, a lot depends on the formality of your work environment. If the men in your office still only wear deep blue and dark gray suits year-round, then a seersucker suit is probably too light-colored and informal. But if khaki suits appear in spring and summer and if men wear sport coats, your corporate culture is likely to embrace the style. In fact, in these informal days, a seersucker suit might actually be too dressed-up for many casual offices.

On the other hand, some rather staid offices feel these suits are too casual, too preppy, too devil-may-care, too white-shoe, even too snobby and Ivy League. These all may have one-upsmanship advantages, but they may also have disadvantages that should be weighed carefully before deciding on seersucker for the office. Personally, I love seersucker suits, but not everyone does.

Shopping hints

Q. I have a number of pieces of clothing that I've had for over 10 years, that I imagine I will need to replace before the Fall. What do I specifically need to know?

A. Without more specific information, it will be difficult to tell you what may or may not be out of style in the men's business wear you have (feel free to follow up with more info). However, given that you recognize the need to make some purchases, and another question I received from a man moving up who needed a full professional wardrobe, I believe you both may benefit from a quick tutorial on shopping FOR MEN and methods of finding the best clothing.

These are ways to get help so you don't have to rely solely on your own judgment and shopping will not be something you dread . . . as long as you are open to following at least a few of them.

• Hire a Personal Shopper: If your budget can handle it, this can be a great option. You don’t need to be a celebrity to do this, but you do need to be careful about your choice. (Your partner/spouse may not be the most objective person for the job.) 
• Find a Store that Is Right for You: It will be very much in your interest to buy a large percentage of your clothes in one store. The personnel will regard you, over the years, as a valued customer. You will know the manager, the salespeople, and – just as importantly – the fitter/tailor. You may not be able to afford the very best store in town, but one at the next level will do just fine. 
• Cultivate a Salesperson with Impeccable Taste: When you walk into a fine men’s store, one salesperson will approach you. In retailers’ parlance, the one who is “up” gets the next customer. But you are in no way obligated to follow the store’s rotation system. Unless you are immediately impressed with the salesperson's manner and how that person is dressed, say, "No thanks, I'm just looking." Observe the other salespeople and note the kind of customers they are serving. If you admire the look and style of one, wait until he is available. You approach him. Let him help you dress the way you want to look. He can become your personal shopper. Tuck his card into your wallet. Then be loyal.    
• Be Willing to Try Things On: Besides hating to shop, another thing men seem to resist is actually trying something on to determine whether or not it is flattering. I strongly urge you to learn to trust your mirror. Especially when shopping alone, do not merely hold an item up to you and check it out in the mirror. Instead, force yourself to go into the dressing room and actually try it on in front of a brutally honest mirror (full length!). Only then will you know the truth about whether it is a good look for you, is flattering, and fits.
• Online Shopping: For men who hate going into stores, the world, specifically the world-wide-web, has certainly adjusted to "suit" them. Even so, it works best if the online company has a real brick-and-mortar store where you can go once in a while to establish which sizes in their garments actually fit you correctly. If not, you may have to go through a period of trials and returns before you can feel comfortable with future orders. 

Here are two of my most useful tricks:

1. Whenever possible, buy two or more items at the same time to create a coordinated “outfit.” When I act as a personal shopper, I always shop this way. You can, too. For example, when you buy a new shirt, buy one perfect tie (or, better yet, two) for that specific shirt so you know they will always go well together. 
2. Buy doubles/duplicates as soon as you discover you are especially happy with an item. If it becomes apparent to you that some garment you have bought is a winner, go back immediately to the store and buy another one, either in the same color or in another color (perhaps both). Don’t just wear it a lot and think you will buy another in the future. By next year, or even next season, the manufacturer will often have dropped that particular item from its line or tweaked it slightly, just enough to change it from what you really want. (I especially recommend this for garments that are all white or have white trim.)  

Be conscious of "trading up" every time you spend a clothing dollar, not just modernizing. With some purchases you'll be inching upward, a bit at a time. With some, you will leap up to new compliment-arousing heights. Did your first purchase of a really expensive necktie send you home wracked with guilt? Possibly . . . but remember that every time you wore that tie you felt terrific.             

What the Male Guests Wore to the Royal Wedding

Q. During all the hoopla about the Royal Wedding, I heard that the appropriate formal attire for men was to wear military uniforms or mourning suits. I wondered why would a wedding – and especially something as festive as a royal wedding – call for something so funeral-like. Can you explain?

A. Yes, I can. And I should point out that you are definitely not the only one to misinterpret the term. It is not “mourning” suits, but rather, “morning” suits.  

The rules for what male guests should wear to the wedding were quite precise. According to the royal wedding invitation, men were required to wear one of three kinds of dress: a military uniform, a morning coat, or a lounge suit. Most men did not choose the less formal British “lounge suit,” which is really a lot dressier than it sounds. Most chose either a uniform or a formal morning coat.

In the realm of men’s correct formal garb, there are three basic categories: 1.] Black tie, 2.] White tie and tails, and 3.] Morning dressing. The well-known first one, black-tie attire, is not totally formal dressing, but a step down, semi-formal. It consists of a formal single-breasted or double-breasted black suit (with either black satin or grosgrain lapels and a stripe of the same fabric down the leg of the matching black trousers), a white pleated-front shirt (with studs and cufflinks), and a black silk bow tie.

Black-tie dressing, commonly referred to as “a tuxedo,” is not considered formal enough for ultra formal occasions. Incidentally, in upper-crust elite circles, the more elegant terms for a tuxedo are “a dinner suit,” “a dinner jacket,” or “an evening suit,” because it is not traditionally correct to wear it before dark or at least before evening hours.  

            

While the dressier and more elegant category of formal evening attire, known as “white tie and tails,” is also all black and white, the cut of the suit is quite different from black-tie dressing. The single-breasted long black swallow-tail jacket is cut short in front and goes down in back all the way to behind the knees. It is worn with matching black trousers, a white wing-collar shirt, and a white cotton piqué bow tie.  

            

On the other hand, what a man wears for formal occasions held during the morning or daytime hours is a morning suit (a.k.a. a morning coat, sometimes called a “cut-away”). The jacket is usually black (but may be gray); it has a single-button in front and long swallow-tail back that is similar to the jacket worn for evening white-tie occasions, but not exactly. The rest of the combination is very different indeed. The formal trousers are gray (usually pinstriped); the shirt is white cotton with a spread collar. There is always a waistcoat (vest) and a long traditional necktie (usually tied in a Windsor – or half-Windsor – knot, never a bow tie). But, unlike the all-black-and-white combination of both black-tie and white-tie dressing, morning dressing allows for a good bit of flair and individuality in the color of the waistcoat as well as the necktie.

And if a man wishes to wear a hat with his morning suit, it should be a dashing formal silk top hat in either black or gray.  

At the royal wedding, most of the men who were not decked out in dress military uniforms (including any appropriate sashes and medals) wore morning suits and looked quite splendid. The bride’s father wore a light blue waistcoat and a tiny-checked red and blue tie. David Beckham looked fantastic in a morning suit from Ralph Lauren Purple Label, a silver-gray tie, and a dark waistcoat; he carried his top hat. Elton John wore a purple tie and buff-colored vest; his partner wore a navy tie and light blue vest. Rowan Atkinson, the actor, chose a pearl gray tie and near-matching vest; he wore his top hat (apparently not worried about “hat hair”). Prime Minister David Cameron wore a medium-blue tie and double-breasted light gray waistcoat. Monaco's Prince Albert arrived in an all-gray morning suit, with a lighter gray tie and matching waistcoat. I guess if you are a prince, you might own more than one morning suit, one in black and one in gray.

             

You may have wondered why the women all wore such dressy outfits including some rather spectacular hats, but no one wore a long gown. The answer: In the same way that white-tie-and-tails dressing is inappropriate for a formal morning event, a long gown would be considered awkward so early in the day.     

           

The one wedding rule for women that everyone obeyed: Do not outshine the bride.

Wondering What to Wear . . . with Michael Strahan

Q. I have a quasi-business lunch coming up and am not sure what to wear. It is a meeting of former employees with our former employer (our company was bought out) at his house. I’m tempted to wear a suit, as it is what I am most comfortable in, but it is also likely that I will be the only one wearing anything other than a polo shirt. What do you suggest?

 
















A.  Your question reminded me of a conversation I had some time back with TV host and former Super Bowl Champion Michael Strahan. At the time, the 6 foot, 5 inch, 255-pound NY Giants star was chosen as the Rochester Big & Tall/PLAYERS INC "Man of Style," and he had these enlightening comments.

"When we are invited to an event, the other guys ask, 'Where is it going to be?'  I ask, 'What is the dress code?' If the answer is 'casual,' I ask, 'Nice casual? Dressy casual? Or blue jean casual?'" 

I commented to him that while women are accustomed to asking questions about what to wear, men are generally uncomfortable doing so, as I imagine might be your concern with your upcoming lunch. Michael seemed surprised and volunteered, "I'm big on that. I want to know what people will be wearing, then I know I will be comfortable when I am there." How intelligent and how refreshing! It is a two-second question that can assure you a full afternoon of comfort, and can often be a nice icebreaker for a one-to-one call before you attend an event where his time will be limited.  

After you’ve asked about the dress code, it is important to know what the answer means. Even for a man who prefers to wear suits, a navy blue suit, white shirt, and tie would be inappropriate -- it is far too dressy -- for casual events. In certain situations, “dressy casual" may include a suit, perhaps even a black one -- the choice of many of today's most fashionable dressers; but to soften the stuffiness of establishment dressing, it might be matched up with a patterned shirt (maybe a small gingham check) and a simple tie. Nevertheless, at your lunch in someone’s home, the black suit would quite likely be too dark and clubby looking. Something lighter would be better. In fact, a while back Michael appeared on TV, perfectly decked out in an impeccably cut tan tweed single-breasted suit (with double vents and a dressed-down attitude). I noticed that his winning daytime dressy-casual effect included an open-at-the-neck dress shirt in subtle light-colored stripes, one of which nicely repeated the tan color of the suit.   
    
Another way to go, for a step down in formality from a suit (with or without a tie), is to choose a sport coat. As an example, a brown-and-blue tweed sport coat, khaki pants, and blue shirt would make another "nice casual" combination. Matching brown shoes and brown belt would complete the look. 

Often, when the invitation suggests "casual" in any of its forms, rather than either a suit or sport coat, a man feels at ease wearing a smart sweater and/or sport shirt, no tie, and well-tailored dress pants. If you should choose blue jeans, they should be a dark wash and very well cut.

All of that said, you do have to dress in your own style, something that you are comfortable wearing, whether it is reminding others of who you are or showing the complexities of an All-Pro defensive end. Michael said to me "I choose to wear suits almost all the time. We are in business; we should look like businessmen. I have a closet full of suits. It helps to look good; then you feel good. When you look and feel good, you play good. Based on the way you dress, you can go into every situation in control."

He also pointed out that everyone is different. The distinctions he made about varying players’ personalities were fascinating: "Different positions dress differently. The best-dressed players are really the bigger guys. I have noticed that the 

• DEFENSIVE LINEMEN dress in sharp suits, more traditionally.
• LINE BACKERS dress flashier. They wear a lot of Versace and alligator shoes.
• DEFENSIVE BACKS are the smaller, cockier guys. They tend to dress over-the-top; they wear a lot of purple and yellow.
• OFFENSIVE LINEMEN are the biggest, calmest, most laid-back guys. Most of them never ever wore a suit. So they might wear olive pants and a sport coat -- as casual as you can get and still be 'dressed.'"

Michael laughed and added: "You learn! I used to have a purple suit myself. You've got to figure out what works, looks good, and says good things about you." It's apparent that today his sophistication and savoir-faire would never include a purple suit.

In your case, if you have never changed from wearing suits (that is, non-purple suits), then you need not change now. I always believed that a guest shows a very nice respect and deference to his host even if he's not a former boss by dressing up a bit. If wearing a suit is a style you are comfortable with, then it doesn’t matter whether others come underdressed or not.

A tie with an UNTUCKit shirt?

Q. Is there a specific variety of tie and, when appropriate, jacket to wear with an UNTUCKit shirt as opposed to a standard dress shirt?

A. My first response would be none, none, and none. That is, no, you should not wear a tie with an UNTUCKit or other brand of untucked shirt. So, no, wearing it with a blazer-and-tie combination would also not be appropriate. And, I would like to go further and say, no, you should not wear those shirts period for work, but times are changing and I'll adjust my advice a bit to be more current. There are certainly many companies where a large number of men, including bosses, will be happily wearing them.

For those who are unfamiliar with the UNTUCKit brand of shirts, it is a retail company that specializes in selling men’s casual shirts that are designed to be worn untucked. They are a form of button-front shirt that is cut very much like a dress/business shirt, but with a difference. The main points of distinction between these shirts and standard men’s shirts are that they are shorter, somewhat more fitted, and have shorter and less-pronounced curved shirttails that end at a point that exposes part of the pants’ pockets. Although the actual difference in inches is slight, it is visually noticeable, especially to those many men who like wearing their shirts untucked. Another point: these shirts are also designed to be worn unlayered; that is, not underneath and extending below a jacket or sweater. The quality and price of the shirts is upscale. They are available online and in their own brick-and-mortar stores.

Some elements of men’s clothing are designed to work well together. They include a suit and tie, navy blazer and gray trousers, sport-shirts and jeans, T-shirts and shorts. These pairings all make (appropriate) sense.

Similarly, some elements of men’s clothing are not even logical when worn together. They include a tuxedo with sneakers, white socks with a dark dressy suit, wildly clashing colors and patterns such as plaid pants with a polka-dot shirt. A reasonable comparison that I would be perfectly willing to accept is with polo shirts. You would not wear them any time a tie seems appropriate, such as when you’d wear a suit or blazer, but you could wear them appropriately with khakis, jeans, and shorts to most casual and at-home occasions.
       
Certainly, our clothes are supposed to make us feel comfortable. But – in the eyes of those making the rules and those you meet who expect you to follow them – that does not give us permission to choose combinations that insult and offend the eye of the beholder. We are all taught early on to use our strengths to help us succeed. Why deliberately choose obstacles that detract from our appeal when it is easy to pay just a little extra attention and make attractive choices?
       
The truth is that the idea of wearing a shirt that is purposely designed to be worn hanging out is a rather brilliant marketing strategy. It is a form of permission that many men want, allowing them to dress more casually. In light of the rapidly expanding number of UNTUCKit stores that are popping up around the country, the appeal seems to be widespread.  However, I believe you should tuck it in when wearing one of these shirts with a blazer; and then you might just as well wear a traditional dress shirt and avoid the annoyance of it’s perhaps pulling out every time you sit down.
       
Finally, to provide one more comparison, it is likely that the interest in these shirts has some of its origins in Habanera shirts and Hawaiian shirts, both of which certainly are not tucked and are usually considered a big step up from T-shirts in formality. Even so, they are not traditional office wear unless you are Magnum P.I. . . . 1988 or 2018.

*Photos is copyright of Poshmark

FASHION WEEK in NEW YORK

In a departure from my regular men’s how-to-dress “Male Call” column, today’s column covers some of my observations during Fashion Week in New York this past week.

While attending Fashion Week, I began to wonder which was more interesting: the clothes the models were wearing on the runways or those on the people who were attending the shows. In both cases, the outfits ranged from the most way-out streetwear to over-the-top gowns. I kept asking myself the old questions: Who would wear such a get-up, and where could she/he wear it?

The word that kept coming to mind was one that I emphasize in my column, “appropriateness.” Much of what I saw would require a great deal of imagination to be included in that category.
People who attended the shows wore everything you could think of, and then some. Lots of full-length dresses worn in the daytime and lots of wildly patterned jackets on both women and men. Stripes showed up in every size and direction. Quite a few women wore fur jackets over strapless gowns, and glitter boots at 3:00 in the afternoon. Men in the audience wore long, colorful scarves, shiny silvery blazers, and sometimes both, instead of the expected New York “black.” Men also wore lots of view-blocking hats, way too many types of sneakers, and a preponderance of unnecessary sunglasses. Most of these outdoor-wear items seemed hard to justify with shows held at such iconic indoor locations as Spring Studios and Grand Central Terminal’s famous Oyster Bar.

Without a doubt, the most spectacularly beautiful gowns I saw were from the couture designer, Randi Rahm, known for her super-chic clothes and fabulous wedding dresses. Each garment was an individual work of art. Some of the special touches included elaborate beading, custom woven fabrics, thigh-high (and above) slits (several embellished with flowers) , ruffles and lace, intricate handwork done in a back room on the premises (not in Asia), and too many unexpected details to recall. Among my favorites was a black-and-crystal latticework cropped jacket that could be worn over the slim black gown the model had on or over a special short dress already in one’s closet. These were all displayed on beautiful models walking around the designer’s atelier/showroom rather than on a runway . . . adding intimacy as well as a chance to see up close – and touch – the unique fabrics. I met a private customer who had flown in from California to shop for several outfits she will wear to upcoming social events. Prices are in keeping with the custom work; they begin at $3,500 and go up to $10,000 for couture; the even more customized haute couture pieces can cost many times that top number!
Interestingly, for the past few seasons, ever since Fashion Week stopped being centralized and organized under one large umbrella at Lincoln Center, I have been trying to determine why the shows have become so scattered. They are held in dozens of different locations and it is often very difficult to find where and when they will be. Another huge difference: Throughout the years that I have been going, people who attended the shows were invited members of the press, store buyers, and the top customers of the individual designers. No one could buy a ticket. Times have changed drastically, and now I understand why the shows are not once again organized. They have become cash cows. Tickets are for sale for most shows, many at outrageous prices. The lowest price I learned was $25 and the highest I found was $1,799, for one show! Everything has become a source of income.

Still, I can understand why some people will pay to travel and attend the shows. They are fun: The off-beat locations, the dramatic staging, the blaring music, the people-watching, plus some of the most imaginative clothes to be found anywhere, add up to a very special – and unforgettable – experience.

Fashion shows were held all over the City. A few of the larger venues, such as Style Fashion Week’s shows at the well-known New York restaurant, Cipriani, presented a series of shows from different designers, one after the another. They ranged from shows made up of kids dressed in very provocative adult-looking clothes, through shows with men’s streetwear styles based on sports attire, to exciting women’s daytime wear and gowns that any woman would love to own.

Since the styles presented at this Fashion Week were for Fall/Winter 2018, it seemed odd to see so much near-nudity, on both sexes. Hemlines were all over the map: Long, extremely short, and often asymmetrical. The amount of glitter on the runways in embellished ball gowns, jumpsuits, and skin-tight leggings was blinding. Many of the models strutted the runways wearing seriously dangerous stilt-like stiletto heels.