Shopping hints

Q. I have a number of pieces of clothing that I've had for over 10 years, that I imagine I will need to replace before the Fall. What do I specifically need to know?

A. Without more specific information, it will be difficult to tell you what may or may not be out of style in the men's business wear you have (feel free to follow up with more info). However, given that you recognize the need to make some purchases, and another question I received from a man moving up who needed a full professional wardrobe, I believe you both may benefit from a quick tutorial on shopping FOR MEN and methods of finding the best clothing.

These are ways to get help so you don't have to rely solely on your own judgment and shopping will not be something you dread . . . as long as you are open to following at least a few of them.

• Hire a Personal Shopper: If your budget can handle it, this can be a great option. You don’t need to be a celebrity to do this, but you do need to be careful about your choice. (Your partner/spouse may not be the most objective person for the job.) 
• Find a Store that Is Right for You: It will be very much in your interest to buy a large percentage of your clothes in one store. The personnel will regard you, over the years, as a valued customer. You will know the manager, the salespeople, and – just as importantly – the fitter/tailor. You may not be able to afford the very best store in town, but one at the next level will do just fine. 
• Cultivate a Salesperson with Impeccable Taste: When you walk into a fine men’s store, one salesperson will approach you. In retailers’ parlance, the one who is “up” gets the next customer. But you are in no way obligated to follow the store’s rotation system. Unless you are immediately impressed with the salesperson's manner and how that person is dressed, say, "No thanks, I'm just looking." Observe the other salespeople and note the kind of customers they are serving. If you admire the look and style of one, wait until he is available. You approach him. Let him help you dress the way you want to look. He can become your personal shopper. Tuck his card into your wallet. Then be loyal.    
• Be Willing to Try Things On: Besides hating to shop, another thing men seem to resist is actually trying something on to determine whether or not it is flattering. I strongly urge you to learn to trust your mirror. Especially when shopping alone, do not merely hold an item up to you and check it out in the mirror. Instead, force yourself to go into the dressing room and actually try it on in front of a brutally honest mirror (full length!). Only then will you know the truth about whether it is a good look for you, is flattering, and fits.
• Online Shopping: For men who hate going into stores, the world, specifically the world-wide-web, has certainly adjusted to "suit" them. Even so, it works best if the online company has a real brick-and-mortar store where you can go once in a while to establish which sizes in their garments actually fit you correctly. If not, you may have to go through a period of trials and returns before you can feel comfortable with future orders. 

Here are two of my most useful tricks:

1. Whenever possible, buy two or more items at the same time to create a coordinated “outfit.” When I act as a personal shopper, I always shop this way. You can, too. For example, when you buy a new shirt, buy one perfect tie (or, better yet, two) for that specific shirt so you know they will always go well together. 
2. Buy doubles/duplicates as soon as you discover you are especially happy with an item. If it becomes apparent to you that some garment you have bought is a winner, go back immediately to the store and buy another one, either in the same color or in another color (perhaps both). Don’t just wear it a lot and think you will buy another in the future. By next year, or even next season, the manufacturer will often have dropped that particular item from its line or tweaked it slightly, just enough to change it from what you really want. (I especially recommend this for garments that are all white or have white trim.)  

Be conscious of "trading up" every time you spend a clothing dollar, not just modernizing. With some purchases you'll be inching upward, a bit at a time. With some, you will leap up to new compliment-arousing heights. Did your first purchase of a really expensive necktie send you home wracked with guilt? Possibly . . . but remember that every time you wore that tie you felt terrific.             

What the Male Guests Wore to the Royal Wedding

Q. During all the hoopla about the Royal Wedding, I heard that the appropriate formal attire for men was to wear military uniforms or mourning suits. I wondered why would a wedding – and especially something as festive as a royal wedding – call for something so funeral-like. Can you explain?

A. Yes, I can. And I should point out that you are definitely not the only one to misinterpret the term. It is not “mourning” suits, but rather, “morning” suits.  

The rules for what male guests should wear to the wedding were quite precise. According to the royal wedding invitation, men were required to wear one of three kinds of dress: a military uniform, a morning coat, or a lounge suit. Most men did not choose the less formal British “lounge suit,” which is really a lot dressier than it sounds. Most chose either a uniform or a formal morning coat.

In the realm of men’s correct formal garb, there are three basic categories: 1.] Black tie, 2.] White tie and tails, and 3.] Morning dressing. The well-known first one, black-tie attire, is not totally formal dressing, but a step down, semi-formal. It consists of a formal single-breasted or double-breasted black suit (with either black satin or grosgrain lapels and a stripe of the same fabric down the leg of the matching black trousers), a white pleated-front shirt (with studs and cufflinks), and a black silk bow tie.

Black-tie dressing, commonly referred to as “a tuxedo,” is not considered formal enough for ultra formal occasions. Incidentally, in upper-crust elite circles, the more elegant terms for a tuxedo are “a dinner suit,” “a dinner jacket,” or “an evening suit,” because it is not traditionally correct to wear it before dark or at least before evening hours.  

            

While the dressier and more elegant category of formal evening attire, known as “white tie and tails,” is also all black and white, the cut of the suit is quite different from black-tie dressing. The single-breasted long black swallow-tail jacket is cut short in front and goes down in back all the way to behind the knees. It is worn with matching black trousers, a white wing-collar shirt, and a white cotton piqué bow tie.  

            

On the other hand, what a man wears for formal occasions held during the morning or daytime hours is a morning suit (a.k.a. a morning coat, sometimes called a “cut-away”). The jacket is usually black (but may be gray); it has a single-button in front and long swallow-tail back that is similar to the jacket worn for evening white-tie occasions, but not exactly. The rest of the combination is very different indeed. The formal trousers are gray (usually pinstriped); the shirt is white cotton with a spread collar. There is always a waistcoat (vest) and a long traditional necktie (usually tied in a Windsor – or half-Windsor – knot, never a bow tie). But, unlike the all-black-and-white combination of both black-tie and white-tie dressing, morning dressing allows for a good bit of flair and individuality in the color of the waistcoat as well as the necktie.

And if a man wishes to wear a hat with his morning suit, it should be a dashing formal silk top hat in either black or gray.  

At the royal wedding, most of the men who were not decked out in dress military uniforms (including any appropriate sashes and medals) wore morning suits and looked quite splendid. The bride’s father wore a light blue waistcoat and a tiny-checked red and blue tie. David Beckham looked fantastic in a morning suit from Ralph Lauren Purple Label, a silver-gray tie, and a dark waistcoat; he carried his top hat. Elton John wore a purple tie and buff-colored vest; his partner wore a navy tie and light blue vest. Rowan Atkinson, the actor, chose a pearl gray tie and near-matching vest; he wore his top hat (apparently not worried about “hat hair”). Prime Minister David Cameron wore a medium-blue tie and double-breasted light gray waistcoat. Monaco's Prince Albert arrived in an all-gray morning suit, with a lighter gray tie and matching waistcoat. I guess if you are a prince, you might own more than one morning suit, one in black and one in gray.

             

You may have wondered why the women all wore such dressy outfits including some rather spectacular hats, but no one wore a long gown. The answer: In the same way that white-tie-and-tails dressing is inappropriate for a formal morning event, a long gown would be considered awkward so early in the day.     

           

The one wedding rule for women that everyone obeyed: Do not outshine the bride.