Is a necktie an appropriate gift? Short answer: Yes

 

Q. I would like to show appreciation to a gentleman who gave me free advice about investing. A gift of homemade cookies doesn't feel quite right. Do you think a tie is an appropriate gift, or is it too personal? 

A. It is interesting that you used the term “too personal.” I remember it as an old expression that my mother used, to refer to inappropriate gifts. Her interpretation of what items were too personal was far more limiting than mine. I believe it not only depends upon the type of item, but also the relationship between the giver and the receiver of the gift. 

Intimate clothing, such as pajamas, a robe, undergarments, etc. are examples. While they are certainly fine for a gift to a husband, a loved one, or a close family member, they definitely are too personal for a business relationship, such as a boss/employee, an acquaintance, or, as in your case, a semi-business thank-you. I can think of a lot of clothing that could come under the appropriate gift category (depending, of course, upon price), and neckties are certainly among those. 

I would say, ties are very high on my list. Even though many (if not most) men these days have given up wearing them, as a regular reader, I'm sure you know that I am a big fan of good-looking ties. It is my strong opinion that men, most of whom make all sorts of efforts to present themselves as not merely one-of-the-crowd, but rather as sharp individuals, do themselves a major disservice by skipping this easiest of all methods to set one’s self apart in a way that others will notice and admire. When a fine $800 suit may possibly go unnoticed, a really handsome necktie will not. Why forgo such an easy opportunity? So, yes, I would say that a tie could well be a wise choice, especially for a man in the financial industry, one of the fields where wearing a tie is still rather expected. When I give a man a tie, I often tuck into the package a small item called “The Tie Thing”; it is a tiny collection of cloth necktie-restraining devices that invisibly hold a tie in place. 

There are other equally less personal clothing gifts. These include cufflinks, a casual watch, fun socks, a scarf, and gloves. These also depend upon how well the giver knows the taste of the person who will be receiving the gift. Good gift ideas do not have to be pieces of clothing or accessories to  demonstrate your appreciation. Less personal gifts include a Swiss Army knife, tickets to a sports event or a concert, gourmet food items, wine, a magazine subscription, pens (say, a luxe-but-affordable Cross pen). Something as extravagant as a Montblanc pen, while certainly thoughtful, can be too much of an assumption. 

There's a risk in buying something so fine that the receiver will feel required to wear/show it off. And gift items may sometimes be wrong, not because they are too personal, but because they’re the sort of things one keeps in his pocket and physically/actually handles often; they are closely tied to an individual’s personal preferences. Examples are key chains, money clips, and perhaps even wallets. Each person usually likes to choose these for himself. Even so, I did once receive a rather lavish genuine crocodile checkbook cover that I thoroughly enjoyed owning, not only because it was so handsome, but because it was far more luxurious than any checkbook cover I would ever splurge on for myself. 

Whether or not you wrap each individual item in gift wrap, you might find a decorative paper gift bag to tuck them into. It makes for a nice presentation.   

It is generally thought that the perfect gifts are indeed those one will enjoy, but would not necessarily buy for oneself.  If there is a tie pattern, color, style that you think would flatter the friend providing advice and not too similar or dissimilar from his style, that sounds perfect.

Blue, black, brown -- tips on which pairings work

 

Q. I have a question; it’s not about the colors that go together, but about mistakes to avoid. Can you tell me which of the following combinations are problematic: blue and brown, blue and black, and black and brown? These are colors that I am generally comfortable with, but that I often hear should never be put with each other. Are they really no-no’s?

 

A. Here is a good rule: never say “never.” That said, most men would indeed do well to follow guidelines, or at least to exercise caution. The world certainly is full of men who just instinctively seem to know what works. They can put colors together that the average guy would usually be wise to steer clear of . . . and they look great while doing it. I must warn you that mixing colors is like any art form: some combos are easy, and some present a higher degree of difficulty.

 

To be specific about the combinations you mentioned, just because something is difficult, or just because you have read somewhere that you should avoid it, does not necessarily make it “wrong.” Let’s start with the easiest and safest one.

 

BLUE AND BROWN: It is a myth that you should not put blues and browns together (unless you are talking about dark blue and dark brown . . . don’t combine those!). In fact, pairing blue and brown can be handsome and often has an aristocratic air. Every light shade of blue works with all shades of brown (including dark chocolate brown). And all light browns go well with every shade of blue. A good example is a sky blue shirt with a khaki suit, or with a camel blazer, or with a brown tweed sports jacket. The most often-seen combination is a navy blue blazer with khaki pants. All these mixes of blues and browns are ones no one could fault.

 

BLUE AND BLACK can be more problematic. Light and medium shades of blue generally work well with black (as with a light blue shirt and a black blazer or suit). Without a jacket, a light blue shirt and black trousers may make you look like an officer . . . but, who knows, that may be a look you want. However, wearing dark blue and black together looks like a mistake. Still, even here there is an exception, but just in terms of accessories. Because no well-dressed man wears dress shoes in any shade of blue, the accepted shoe color to choose with a blue suit or a navy blazer is black.

 

BLACK AND BROWN: Whether these two colors can work together depends upon how dark they are; if they are both dark, they will not look good together. On the other hand, if the brown is some light shade, such as off-white, beige, tan, or khaki, it can be a smart mix with black. Think: black blazer and tan trousers, or the reverse, ivory jacket and black dress pants. If your suit is a medium or dark gray (in the “black family”) and if you are a confident enough dresser to pull it off, you might wear well-polished cognac brown shoes for an elevated level of sophisticated mixing.

 

One secret to making these combinations work is having an item with both colors included (usually a sweater, a jacket, or a necktie) that already is a mix of two colors; it can help you create a special look. As an example, a cashmere or wool sweater in a camel/black/white argyle pattern pairs nicely with a white shirt and black or camel trousers (and a white shirt). A blue-and-black geometric patterned sweater works with either black dress pants or blue jeans. Although some stores and magazines will show wild combinations of patterns, it’s a good idea to stay with only the one pattern when you are working with offbeat color mixing.   

 

Combining certain colors that are difficult to work with takes a certain amount of savoir faire. If you are good at it, go for it. But if it is a difficult look for you to pull off, why bother?