How to Wear a Bow Tie

Q. The only bow ties I have ever worn were black tie with formal wear, but I'm thinking of bringing them into my business wardrobe. Are the color matching rules for bow ties the same as for other ties and are there any specific don'ts with bow ties? Finally, to give you a better understanding of my thoughts, if I'm going this far, I want to do something different but not ridiculous -- I see that as bright pink, or Pulitzer. Thanks in advance for the help.

A. I am happy to report that the pendulum of style for younger men has swung back to dressing up; the mind set of grungy dressing has passed. So, I understand your new interest in incorporating this functional accessory – the bow tie – into your mode of dressing. It can be useful at work, at the club, or when you are going out with your friends. Celebrities such as Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, and Ashton Kutsher have all been spotted wearing them.

To answer some of your questions: The color matching rules for bow ties are the same as for other ties, and, yes, there are a couple of don’ts. One is the same as the rule for long (four-in-hand) ties, and that is never match it exactly to anything else you are wearing, such as a pocket square or braces (suspenders). Coordinated in color and pattern, yes, but as I’ve written before: A man wearing two exactly matched items looks as if he were dressed out of a kit -- not your most sophisticated image. The second no-no is essential: Do NOT wear a pre-tied bow tie or, worse, a clip-on. Learning how to tie one yourself is really not difficult. If you can locate online my now out-of-print book, “Dress for Excellence,” you will find exact directions. If not, the Internet can be very helpful. 

         

To answer your next question about doing “something different,” I have some major concerns about going too far. Despite the fact that this past year has seen a big spurt in younger men deciding to incorporate bow ties into their wardrobes, the style is still somewhat of a departure. A well-dressed guy may enjoy being seen as an individual or a maverick, but he should definitely avoid any hint of exhibitionism. Having a signature look – say, wearing a lot of the color pink as you mentioned – works when incorporated into standard, classic items; but inserting a noticeable departure into something that is already even a slight digression verges on childish showing off. Subtlety is the essence of stylish sophistication.

There are certainly opportunities to personalize. One point of personalization is the opportunity to choose any one of five different bow tie shapes. These are offered by Beau Ties Ltd., a company I have recently learned of and am very impressed with. Beau Ties Ltd. has made a name for itself by devoting its efforts to making beautiful, well-priced ties. While in recent years, neckties have become more and more expensive, because a bow tie is such a small item, it somehow rankles to pay between $60 and $120 for one. At Beau Ties their very best ties are between $40 and $50. In fact, the company makes bow ties for many upscale stores to sell under their own label at considerably higher prices.

www.BeauTiesLtd.com offers more than 200 patterns to choose from. They are all handmade from high quality fabrics and offer many options. For weddings, they give the groom (and his groomsmen) the same service a bride has: They will send fabric swatches and match special colors. But perhaps the most unique service they offer is what they call the “conversion program”; they will convert your own long tie into a bow tie for $35. The company says they are aimed at men who are fans of Robert Frost: They want to follow a path less traveled.

             

Necktie note: For some reason, consistency in lengths of long ties does not seem to be a huge priority in the necktie industry. Ties are manufactured in lengths that range from 55 to 58 inches. If you’re tall, those three inches can make a big difference. Besides bow ties, Beau Ties Ltd. also makes long (four-in-hand) ties that can be personalized as to length. You can order a tie from their website in any one of four lengths: 58 inches (standard), 60, 62, or 64 inches. Or you can phone them at 800-488-8437, and they will cut the tie to your exact specification. There is an additional charge of $8 for non-standard lengths, and well worth it. I don’t know any other company that offers this service.

    

Ties offer an avenue to be distinctive. But the well-dressed man is always stylish without being flamboyant.   

Have questions of your own? Feel free to email me at Lois.Fenton@prodigy.net

Fashion Week

Q. I see a lot in the newspapers and on TV about Fashion Week for women, but does anything ever show up there for men?

A. Yes, some years it does, but not this time. This may not be the answer you were looking for, but I've rarely seen anything for men that compares with Fashion Week for women. Recently I attended the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York, where, of course, most of the shows consisted of women’s designs and only a few featured men’s wear.

I saw a lot of interesting, and some truly beautiful, clothes for women. But of the shows I attended, it was hard to find anything even slightly resembling a positive new direction for men. I tend to be opinionated, but that's my job, and sorry to say, this is what I often see. It was difficult to find anything that the typical well-dressed man might want to own or wear.

I’m not talking about the Zegnas, Brionis, Oxxfords, Phineas Coles, and Ralph Laurens of this world, companies who continue to make investment-grade tailored men’s clothes that change little from year to year – but then they don’t usually show at Fashion Week.

Because there are so few new ideas in how-to-dress for traditional business, the contents of most of the men’s shows are primarily casual wear.

But even the casual clothes did not have much appeal. Everything was olive, beige, gray, black, or white – for spring, mind you! Still color (or rather the lack of it) was not the big problem. The major problem was that nothing looked special. It looked like something that – if the guy in a woman’s life wore it – she would ask him to please put something else on! These clothes could only be thought of as “fashion” because they were being worn by good-looking models on a fashion show runway. On a normal guy, they’d look like back-of-the-closet weekend attire.

Pants included long knee-grazing shorts and leggings (yes for men!), nothing noteworthy, attractive, or particularly wearable. I can understand wearing shorts (except when they showed them with sport coats), but when and where would a man ever wear leggings? Tops were slouchy, drapey knits in Tees, Henleys, cardigans with no shape whatsoever, and some ludicrous chest-baring looks. (I guess the only useful information one can draw from all this is that soft fabrics and no stiff tailoring is what we will be seeing next year.) Shoes included a lot of flip-flops, sneakers, espadrilles, and other super-casual footwear. The only stylish men’s designs that stood out enough to notice were a few short leather jackets with asymmetrical/diagonal closings – either zippered or buttoned. But that was about it. Disappointing for everyone, but especially for someone who writes about men’s clothes.

The printed program (or what is called the “run-of-show”) provided at each show included such fancy terminology as this description of one designer: “a roguish American icon with a Brit edge.” It went on to say that he “disregards the universal monotony black and grays that dominate men’s wear. He instead infuses earth-tone colors with muted blues.” In other words, same old, same old.

So, a question may be, "Are designers saying that these casual clothes should be worn for business?" The answer to that is “no.” Another question is, “Can you get away with wearing the best of your clothes for another year?” That answer is “yes.” Beyond that, I wish I had something better or more interesting to report, but maybe next season!

Perhaps you might try shopping in your own closet; women do it all the time.

Buying Your First Suit (One that Women Will Like)

3536 Q. I want to thank you, for the e-mail advice you gave me on the four shirts I bought from Brooks Brothers. I thought the shirts looked nice but I had no idea how badly, perhaps, I was dressed in the past when I was going to meetings. Just in wearing those new shirts to two important meetings, I suddenly received comments about my nice haircut (I didn't have a haircut at the time), and women came over to chat with me who previously ignored me. I'm both happy and mortified at the change!

        I was also wondering if you might answer a question about suits. Given that my new role at work will involve dealing with some of our new hedge fund investors, I thought I should do something about getting a suit or two. I'm afraid to even describe to you what I wore to the recent investment meeting I attended. (I really just have a dark jacket and a pair of gray slacks.) I'm thinking about looking my best when meeting investors (and I'm also thinking about looking better on a date as well.)
        I've noticed that Brooks Brothers periodically has a "2-for-1 suit sale." Can you tell me where to start?

A. With finding a suit or a date? Just kidding! But I am delighted that you have seen so clearly what I have been saying for years: Women notice and are attracted to men who pay attention to their appearance and who put themselves together attractively. Not men who dress foppishly, but men whose taste level shows they have good judgment and are worldly. Their choices project self-confidence and sophistication – a great appeal.    

Also, good for you for realizing that a dark-jacket-and-gray-slacks combination is NOT a suit. Every man should have at least one actual matched suit in his closet, and going to a fine quality store is the best approach to purchasing a suit. (FYI, Do not make the mistake of buying a custom suit. This is not wise for a first or a second suit. True, the endless options are enticing, but they are precisely why you should not opt for custom. Do you really know enough to be designing a suit?)

Think classic. Think grays, dark blues, or perhaps a tan or khaki. Stick to a businesslike look – not too casual, but not boardroom formal either. Because versatility is what you are aiming for, choose a solid, not a stripe. Consider cutting out a few pictures from newspapers or magazines to take with you. Better yet, shop in a men’s specialty shop known for its traditional style and reliability . . . yes, Brooks Brothers fits that category.  

Be certain to take your time when you go into the store. (You want to look for a salesperson whose taste you admire.) When you walk in, one salesman will approach you. In retailers’ parlance, the man who is “up” gets the next customer. But you are not obligated to follow the store’s system of rotation. Unless you are impressed with the salesman’s manner and the way he is dressed, do not accept his offer to help you. “No thanks, I’m just looking,” is what you say. Observe the other salespeople, and note the kind of customers they are serving. If you admire the look and manner of one salesman, wait until he is available. Then you approach him. Let him dress you the way you want to look.

Remember, too, that when you are being fitted by the tailor for any needed alterations to your new suit, be tough. Insist on answers to any questions. There is still time to pull out – to take the suit off and say you’ve changed your mind.   

So, beyond color and pattern(less), exactly what kind of suit should you look for? Keep in mind those two all-important words: Classic and versatile. Choose a two-piece, two-button, single-breasted cut, notched (not peak) lapels, either single back vent or British double vents, year-round lightweight wool, cuffs on the pants. Current styling calls for a somewhat trimmer fit and plain-front pants.

I’ll bet you’ll find that all of your new shirts look great with any of these suits. (Please get back to me. I can't wait to hear what happens!)

  

 

Khaki Suits

Q. In a recent response you mentioned “a summer solid khaki suit." My wife and I debated the term "khaki." I was raised wearing "khakis" and they were of various fabrics, usually off-white to dark tan in color; however, my school allowed dark blue "khakis." In modern fashion, khakis are common in business casual attire. Wanting to keep a Professional (with a capital "p") appearance, I have chosen to not have any suits or slacks that are tan of any shade. Wikipedia says that khaki can refer to a color or a fabric. In your context I would assume color. But which one should be assumed in common usage? I don't want to sound completely clueless, but I guess my real question is: What exactly are khakis and what appearance do they give? Thanks in advance. 


A. You do not sound clueless at all. Only a man who is tuned into clothes and what they project about the wearer would have asked it at all. The answer to your question is complicated, because it has a few different parts.

You are correct (and so is Wikipedia) in saying that khaki can refer to a color or a fabric. But it can also refer to a style – casual cotton pants, called “khakis” – which I assume is what was meant at your school when they referred to dark blue “khakis.” While the term “chinos” is sometimes used interchangeably with khakis, I have never before heard the term used for blue pants, no matter what the fabric. What your school probably meant by that was “no jeans.”

As to a definition of khaki, Alan Flusser writes that it is a “Hindi word meaning ‘dust-colored.’ It is a neutral color.” He is, of course, referring only to the color.

When the term khaki refers to color, there is still more than one answer. It includes a range of shades from light off-white through medium tans to darker shades with a hint of olive green. When referring to fabric, it can be all cotton, a cotton blend, or wool. It can be a very light almost shirting-weight cotton, a medium cotton poplin suiting weight, or a heavier cotton twill. It can also be a tropical-weight wool suiting fabric in khaki color, a medium gabardine, or a sturdier wool fabric used in dress pants and known as “cavalry twill.”

Sometimes the term refers to both the color and the fabric, as in a summer khaki suit or year-round khaki dress pants.

Another point. Unless you work in an extremely staid (all-dark suits) business environment, I do not see why you would avoid suits, and especially slacks, in all shades of tan. Tans are less dressy than gray or navy, but not so much that you should exclude them from your wardrobe. If you are a regular reader of my column, you know I have misgivings about the usefulness of owning navy slacks (oddly, they don’t work well with most jackets). So, if you avoid all those versatile tan slacks, you have then narrowed your choices down to nothing but trousers in various shades of gray. The well-regarded combination of navy blazer and khaki pants (though a step more casual than navy blazer and gray pants) is a near essential in a man’s wardrobe.

It is always wise to look for ways to expand what a man has in his closet rather than narrow it down.

How to Coordinate the Colors You Wear

Q.  I don’t think that I am color-blind, but apparently my color judgment is just off. When I match up a tie with a color in my tweed jacket, my girl friend says they don’t go together. Is there a way that I can establish the color in this and other jackets and know which ties (and other clothing) it matches?

A.  There are a couple of possible reasons for your difficulty. One is that you may indeed be that one in every eleven men who statistically is color blind. It does not mean that you cannot distinguish any colors; it more often is just an issue with distinguishing specific colors from others, or you may simply have trouble differentiating between shades. Either of these will make it hard to put colors together well. Here are a few tested, foolproof solutions.   

     

Ask a friend who has good taste – perhaps your girl friend – to spend an hour or so with you, going through your collection of suits, sport coats, shirts, ties, and socks. Arrange them into compatible combinations. Then, on the label of each piece, using an indelible marker, identify its set by number. For example, all shirts and ties that coordinate with blue suit #3 are marked “#3.”

     

An easy trick that works with socks: Buy all your black ones from one manufacturer, your blue ones from another, and browns from a third. Choose brands with some clearly identifiable stitching on the toe. 

      

Since so many men are color-blind, it makes no sense to be embarrassed or to try to hide the fact from the salesman when shopping for clothes. He sees people who are color-blind every day. Ask him, for example, to show you a blue shirt that has no hint of green or purple in it. (That can be a smart strategy even if you are not color-blind.)

    

On the other hand, even people who can differentiate colors may have trouble coordinating them well.  

A common mistake that both men and women make when trying to match or coordinate colors is to examine a tweed jacket or a small-patterned necktie too closely, determining exactly which colors are in the fabric. What you see is not what you get! Instead, the right approach is to step back an arm’s length away at the very least, or better yet, look at the garment from several feet away, What colors does your eye perceive from that distance? You will not be able to distinguish every one of the colors that you find when examining it up close. What you will see is the overall effect created when the colors blend with each other – that is how others perceive it.

 

As examples: a black and white tweed looks gray from a short distance; a blue-and-red small-patterned tie assumes a purple cast from a distance; a red-and-yellow print tie looks orangey-red from several feet away. The blue-and-red tie goes with clothes in blues and grays, and looks terrific with a light blue or pink shirt. The orangey-red tie would look terrible with a pink shirt, but would be perfect with a khaki, tan, or olive suit and perhaps an ivory-colored shirt.    

                                                                                 

Try this experiment to prove that the overall color effect of a pattern changes as you get further from it. Choose a small “goes-with-everything” red-and-blue print tie from your closet. Hold it up in front of a mirror and move backwards. Up close, it is a subtle foulard, appropriate for any business situation. As you move back a bit, the pattern disappears and the tie becomes purple to your eye. Step back even further and from across the room, the tie becomes brown.              

This little exercise illustrates two points. 1.] When selecting a tie in a store or at home, always hold it away from you. 2.] To check the color of a tie you plan to wear for a presentation to a group of people, stand back as far as you can from your mirror. A classic blue-and-yellow small print tie that looks great up close and works well in conservative circles could suddenly become a vivid green tie from a distance and mark you as an overtly flamboyant dresser? Choose colors that are correctly visible from a distance.  

  

Note:  These color guidelines are not limited to dressing rather formally with a necktie. They work as well for casual weekend dressing in sweaters, knit shirts, khakis, and jeans. Because color is such a noticeable part of one’s overall appearance, men who know how to coordinate colors well are generally considered to be great dressers. It is an inexpensive, but very useful, skill.

How to Shop within Your Budget

Q. You wrote about the value of purchasing fine quality clothes and amortizing the cost over time, and that made sense to me until I looked at the prices I saw in GQ. There were three different photos of men that looked good and were something I would be comfortable wearing, but they were each in the thousands when I read through to the fine print. These looked so good they would stand out if I wore them a couple of times a week (that much amortizing is unrealistic), and even wearing them twice a month would be over $50 per wearing. Do you really live in a bubble that thinks this can be afforded by those of us early in our careers (or even in coming years)?

A.  I certainly believe that dressing well is important, but I also recognize that top fashion is unaffordable. I could not agree with you more when it comes to getting guidance from men’s clothing magazines. Yes, they do show a lot of handsome clothes, but the prices are unrealistic for the average-income man (and even for most above-average income guys). Time was when these magazines gave helpful advice and were full of useful ideas for how to dress well. These days, the clothes they show teach us very little and are so outrageously costly they may actually frighten guys off from trying to look good.  

A rather simple looking outfit/combination in a magazine may include a sports jacket or blazer for $1,900, pants for $320, a shirt for more than $200, a tie for $120, and a pocket square that costs $80. Now really! Who, besides some magazine “stylist,” would even consider such purchases? Substituting far less expensive versions of all of these items makes a great deal of sense.

I have always believed in the wisdom of studying, or at least browsing through, the better “fashion magazines” for both men and women to help discover looks, color combinations, and styles that we can then translate into our own how-to-dress vocabulary.

Lots of times (and this is especially true when the seasons change) we forget about some item of clothing we already have at home in a drawer or a closet. But, if we see a picture in a newspaper or magazine, it may remind us that we own something similar; it will give us an idea of how to combine it for a great look. That is what I call “shopping in your own closet.”

The world is full of wonderful clothing options. Let’s say you are just starting out to create a wardrobe for yourself; you still have various affordable ways to go about it.

* Buying “On Sale”: Nothing beats finding a real bargain. Men’s classic clothes change very little from year to year (and often from decade to decade), so you need not worry that a good-looking item you buy at a reduced price today will be out of style next season. “On sale” shopping in upscale/high-end stores (such as Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdale’s, Lord & Taylor) is a wise way to stretch your clothing dollars. A good shopper can find good deals. Also, the stores’ knowledgeable salespeople are great fonts of helpful suggestions and guidance.   

* Buying Brand Names: A man can pay a lot for expensive labels such as Burberry, Gucci, Zegna, Brioni, Hermès, Ralph Lauren, and Armani. But there are many fine-quality (though moderate-priced) brand names you should become familiar with: Lands’ End, L.L. Bean, J. CreBurberry, w, Dockers, Gap, Old Navy, Joe Fresh, American Eagle Outfitters, and Uniqlo to name a few. Seek out comparable looks to the ones you see in the magazines. The price difference is enormous.

* Catalog and Online Shopping: Until you become familiar with the fit, the process may be tedious. But once you know how a specific company’s clothes fit you, future shopping can be a huge time saver. Not only are their photos helpful, but usually so are their telephone operators. 

* Discount Stores: I don’t recommend your trying the discount route until you are fully confident of your knowledge about the clothing world. Also, time is money; for most men, the return on their time doesn’t make sense. But it is a misconception to believe that there must be something wrong with a suit that is sold for half price.

* Thrift Shops: Here is where it really pays to know the better brand names. You might get lucky. I am not suggesting that everyone will be as familiar as I am with high-end and designer names, but in recent months I have unearthed for my sons a pair of Brooks Brothers gray trousers made of Loro Piana fabric (the world’s finest wool), a black Paul Stuart blazer, and three Hermès ties – each for less than $5!

If you are willing to spend the time to shop carefully, to combine colors thoughtfully, to pay for needed alterations, and to be as well groomed as you possibly can be, you, too, can look like you “just stepped out of GQ” for a surprisingly reasonable sum.